When a Wedding Planner Plans Her Own Wedding: Lessons, Details, and Letting Go

Marlie Anderson
Jan 22
4 min read

As a wedding planner, I’ve spent years helping couples bring their dream weddings to life. So, when it was finally my turn to walk down the aisle, you’d think I’d have it all figured out, right? In many ways, I did—but planning my own wedding was a whole new adventure. From handpicking vendors to designing every last detail, it was a labor of love that came together in the most magical way. Still, letting go and actually enjoying the day was the hardest part, even for me. Here’s a peek behind the scenes at how it all came together and what I learned along the way.

Choosing the Dream Team

As a planner, I know firsthand that the right vendors make all the difference. I worked with people I trusted—vendors I had either collaborated with before or admired from afar. Their expertise was invaluable, and they brought my vision to life in ways that exceeded my expectations. If there’s one piece of advice I can give any bride, it’s this: Hire people you trust, communicate your vision clearly, and then let them do what they do best.

Designing My Own Wedding

I wanted our wedding to feel warm, inviting, and unique to us. The design centered around muted fall florals and candles that created a soft, romantic glow. The cocktail hour and reception was filled with cozy and unexpected touches, like a lounge set with fire pits and warm fall vibes. We also included a custom golf ball seating chart that was a surprise to my fiancé (Now Husband) who loves the sport —a playful, personal detail our guests loved.

For dinner, we leaned into the season with a full Thanksgiving-inspired feast, which added an extra layer of comfort and warmth to the evening. Dessert was a trio of indulgences: cookies and milk, refill coffee cart, and, of course, wedding cake. To top it all off, we had a cigar bar for the guests who wanted a moment of quiet sophistication.

Creating an Unforgettable Guest Experience

One of the most important aspects of our wedding was ensuring our guests felt cared for, welcomed, and celebrated just like they have celebrated us throughout our relationship. From the moment they arrived, we wanted them to feel at home and to experience the love and warmth that made our day so special.

We set the tone right at the entrance with a “Sip and Be Seated” bar. Greeted by warm, friendly faces from our friends at The Whiskey Wench Bartending, our guests were offered hot beverages—perfect for the chilly November day. Whether it was spiced cider, hot cocoa, or a comforting cup of coffee, the drinks gave them a cozy start to the festivities.

After their warm welcome, guests were escorted to the back of the venue, where we’d created a space designed to delight and invite connection. A live guest portrait watercolor artist painted keepsakes that guests could take home, creating a beautiful memory of the day. Fire pits and heaters were scattered throughout the space, offering cozy spots for guests to gather, chat, and enjoy the crisp fall air.

Looking around during the reception and seeing our loved ones laughing, mingling, and enjoying these thoughtful touches as well as our kid cousins dancing was one of my favorite parts of the day. Their happiness was the greatest gift we could have asked for, and it made all the planning and attention to detail so worth it.

Creating an unforgettable guest experience is about more than just aesthetics or activities—it’s about showing your guests how much you value their presence and sharing the joy of the day with them in a way that feels personal and heartfelt.

The Hardest Part: Letting Go

If there’s one thing I struggled with, it was handing over control on the day of the wedding. As a planner, I’m used to running the show, but on my wedding day, I had to step back and trust the team I’d built. This was harder than I imagined, but it was also the most freeing thing I could have done. The day flew by, and while there were small hiccups (there always are, but I did not know about any of them because my amazing planner took care of everything) they didn’t matter because I was surrounded by love, laughter, and everything we’d dreamed of.

The Takeaway: Make It Personal and Fun

Our wedding wasn’t just about us—it was about creating an experience for our guests that felt warm, intentional, and memorable. The laughter around the fire pits, the joy of seeing our loved ones find their seats on the golf ball display, and the magic of dancing under soft candlelight are memories I’ll treasure forever.

If you’re a bride-to-be (planner or not), my advice is simple: Focus on what feels like you. Trust your vendors, embrace the unexpected, and don’t forget to soak in every moment. Your wedding is a celebration, not a production.

Looking back, the day was everything I dreamed it would be and more—imperfectly perfect, just like love itself.

Are you planning your big day? I’d love to hear about your vision! Let’s connect and make your dream wedding a reality.